I Saw Esau Sittin' on a See Saw

Seems I'm always up and down on this blog.

I'm on the smallest dose of steroid possible. Just waiting for the word that I can come off. Breathlessly awaiting those three little words "discontinue the Decadron". I just hope I'm not putting too much on that fact. Coming off will not fix everything going on with me Lord knows. I've been blaming the steroids for a lot lately. Let's hope they are guilty of some things anyway. I could use a little sunshine. Some symptoms could just disappear. Maybe a few. Yeah.

Last time I wrote I had a tough time getting out of my car. That happened one more time again at Physical Therapy, the only place I drive to alone. I was in a hurry because I had to wait for a parking spot. Thank heavens they could come out to give me a hand with that uncooperative foot. I've got them on speed dial now for insurance - so I don't need help again.

Good grief.

But in general Therapy is pretty good. I've been inspired to work hard again since last time here. The right leg is a bit stronger. Again. And I keep working the program and fighting the good fight. One of the important things in this phase of my treatment is to not slide backwards. Most days I'm still getting a lot of sleep but my stamina when walking IS improving. It's almost imperceptible but it's there. I can walk in to therapy and I'm not huffing and puffing and grabbing something for stability so I don't fall down. I can come out in the morning and go straight to the kitchen for breakfast instead of stopping to rest and pant in the living room for a while. I'm still bushed when I do sit down to eat and my Mini Wheats get soggy before I can get a spoonful, but I'll take what progress I can.

I'm finding muscles I forgot I had. Monday I found my butt. I know. I know. Hard to lose one as big as mine, but I couldn't clench my cheeks together. (the things you don't know until your therapist says "okay now try this . . .") I could do left then right but not together at first. Then after a while . . . Taa Daa! Both cheeks. Bouncy bouncy. How she dreams up this stuff I'll never know, but anything to build up these weak muscles of mine. Now I'm sitting here at the computer making the tightest buns in Howard County (I know scary visual). And my thighs! I got a blue rubber kick ball at the Target' for thigh strength. Guess where that goes? ;^P

Yea team!

Oh, sometimes I still have my weak moments for totally unknown reasons. Walking to the car most days is fine, but if I go down to the bathroom then balance to put my coat on first . . . then go down the stairs on those wobbly legs . . . Woosh! And brushing my teeth always makes me weak in the knees and I gotta grab the wall to walk. It's only about 10 steps from sink to bed then plop down breathless and pant for 5 minutes or so with my heart pounding. I'm still afraid of restaurant and other unknown chairs. Can't get up from them - too low or unstable. Theater seats? Wanna hear a horror story? And stairs. Stairs? What are those?

Oh you mean the 4 inch steps Bobby built for me up to our front porch? The porch he raised to the level of our front door so I can get in my own house? Those I can handle.

He loves me.

Yup. Up and down. But I keep on focusing on those ups. There have been some family and friend health problems that have gotten me to take a step awaaaaay from my own issues.

• My stepbrother had a liver transplant last week. He's doing well at Hopkins I hear. Whew!
  
• My cousin is having a serious surgery Thursday (probably going to go well, but still . . .)
• A friend who's dealing with colon cancer is having his reversal surgery in two weeks. This should be a joyous occasion but no surgery is fun and the first one truly sucked for him.
  
• A sweet knitting friend had to make an emergency flight to Ireland to be with her 12 year old daughter. She had an acute bleeding episode, thought at first to be Leukemia. They're flying back Thursday for treatment of Aplastic Anemia at Hopkins. It's gonna be a long, long haul for them.

Yup. I'm doing O-Kay for now. Please say a prayer for each of them though. Right now please.